The Sequel: Marvel never ceases to grasp my attention so I’m kicking myself for waiting so long to finally see this. That being said…
The Science: I loved that this franchise seems to successfully blend science with science fiction and super heroes. Granted, it’s not realistic at all, but I don’t find myself getting so caught up in the reality of things for this Marvel universe. As a side note, it’s cool to see a smart woman scientist willing to punch dudes and has all the answers.
The Dialogue: This was not so great. I literally laughed at some of the dialogue like out loud. Thor has a very specific way that he speaks as do all of the Asgardians, but when you put that with how normal everyone else speaks it turns into comedy that I can’t take seriously. The banter from Loki is amazing though but I think Tom Hiddleston gets the credit for making that amazing. Portman was not performing at her best and you can tell she didn’t really want to be there.
The Villain: Praise you Christopher Eccleston for being a freakin awesome dark elf. Ruthless and intimidating and great to watch. I liked his parts better than most of the others really.
Overall: If you love the Marvel universe, you’ll obviously want to and need to see this. It felt a little lacking so I’m hoping that Captain America will make up the difference. But oh man is Chris Hemsworth beautiful.
The Viewing: I think this has only really been shown at some festivals or something, but there was a screening near where I live and it looked interesting. Not to mention, it’s based on stories written by James Franco and the name Coppola was on it. Duh.
The Plot: The idea is that it’s a bunch of short stories thrown together. April (Roberts) likes Teddy, who likes April but gets in trouble with the law. April and her soccer coach (Franco) have this tension, and Teddy’s friend Fred (Wolff) is also a mischief maker. It’s an interesting observance of how their lives all intersect and how all of them have a penchant for getting into trouble. It’s just unsettling to watch but you can’t look away! They’re all damaged and it’s an interesting take on that idea. That being said, let me step on my soapbox:
The Trouble: I may be out of touch, but this seems way far fetched. Do you know how much effort it takes for teens to get into THAT much trouble without someone taking notice? Like I know everyone wants to blame the parents for the attitude of the millenial generation, but being in that generation, not all of us are like that! Not every teen/young adult is struggling or misguided the way these are. Films are consistently emphasizing how much trouble this age group gets into when honestly, it’s nothing like that for most of us. I say this movie hits around 5-10% of teens ever. Just a stab at statistics and I know I’m a little ranty, but this is not accurate at all to me…but maybe I’m just a square.
Overall: I’m glad I watched this, and I was heavily invested in the characters by the end. I wanted the sucky ones to get what was coming and the good ones to come out on top! Rated-R for drugs, language, sexual content, and just other general creepiness.
The Now: This one has been on my watch list for a while so it seemed about time I got around to it.
The Story: Sutter (Teller) is a teenager who is kind of a butthole who ends up passed out on Aimee’s (Woodley) paper delivery route. They get together, and the rest I will leave for you to digest. It pretty much used every cliche in the indie book. Alcoholic teen, dead parents, parents who are disappointments, teen angst and drama, hospital visits, you name it. Obviously I wasn’t too impressed with the story but to be honest I’m not sure what else I expected.
The Acting: THIS. This is where I was pleased. Teller was amazingly infuriating as Sutter. I just wanted him to fail but then when he would get in trouble I still found myself feeling sorry for him. Well, I guess I felt more sorry for Aimee. Playing an average teen type of character can be weird but Woodley was beautiful and captivating as always.
Overall: You can probably skip this one. Sure there’s a good message but the overall story arch was just frustrating to watch.
Everything is Awesome: Yes, everything about this movie is indeed awesome. It’s hilarious and perfect for anyone. ANYONE.
The Comedy: Mr Business is trying to end the world of Legos. That’s all you need to know. The comedy is just so spot on. I was laughing at the stupid stuff AND the actually good/creative stuff. The sarcasm in the characters is what I loved the most, because sarcasm is what fuels my funny bone. It’s all clean and fun and perfect.
The References: The Batman references were just the best. Will Arnett is hilarious and then all the random throw ins like NBA All-Stars, Wonder Woman, Star Wars, like you can’t lose here. Also, the ending is amazing and wonderful.
Overall: You will like this movie. The animation of the Legos is amazing and the comedy is great and it’s just so fun. I don’t care when you see it, just see it.
Why?: I’m not entirely sure. I’m a sucker for fairytales and this was like a fairytale all grown up so why not.
The Action: Hansel (Renner) and Gretel (Arterton) are taken into the woods by their father where the find a witch’s cabin and they are captured but defeat her. They go on to become witch hunters. This movie is extremely action packed. I couldn’t believe how lame the story was but how cool some of the sequences were.
Plot Things: This could have easily been PG-13 but no, you wanted to show some butt. The dialogue is horrendous and laughable but the story itself is actually kind of cool. It’s reminiscent of “The Brother’s Grimm” only a bit more silly. Hansel and Gretel arrive in town to defeat a witch that has been stealing children from the town. There is a big ritual night coming up and the witches are preparing but Hansel and Gretel are important to this ceremony. I won’t spoil anything BUT it’s pretty cool the way they do it. The creativity and variety in the witches is really cool! Also, I enjoyed the medical twist for Hansel as well as other modern additions. That’s not much of a spoiler, don’t worry.
Overall: I wouldn’t watch it unless you want some mindless fantasy action. Or to see a girl’s butt, whichever. It’s on Netflix so it doesn’t take much effort. I can’t quite pinpoint the audience for this yet but I guess it did well in theaters, I don’t know.
The Partners: These two ladies know how to make a girl chuckle so I don’t know why it took me so long to see this!
The Funny: Ashburn (Bullock) is a stuck up FBI agent that gets sent to Boston for a case to prove herself. She ends up working with Mullins (McCarthy) to bring the bad dudes down. It felt like Miss Congeniality with more polarizing characters and more cheesy laughs. Mullins is over the top pretty much all the time but that’s how McCarthy tends to do her comedy. Bullock was pretty hilarious and I love it when this woman does comedy. I want to have a best friend that will adjust my boobs for me to make them look good for the dude I’m wooing. That’s a friend.
The Plot: I’m not gonna talk about this one too much because it wasn’t really that amazing. In a comedy, the plot is almost never the focus point, and that was pretty clear in this one too. You can only do buddy cop movie so many times before they start to all get the same, even when you switch it up. BUT, it makes me super happy that this movie passes the Bechdel Test.
Overall: This was a silly movie that was super silly entertainment and I think it’s something “Miss Congeniality” lovers would also enjoy. Reminder that it’s rated R but the worst part is the language.
You’re Joking: Cinematic greatness has finally made its way to Netflix in the form of “Get Over It” and I watched it the second I saw it was there. I’m joking of course, this movie is trivial but AMAZING.
The Cast: Like what the heck, this cast is epic: Shane West pre-“A Walk to Remember”, Dunst post-“Bring It On”, Sisqo, Mila Kunis, Ben Foster, Colin Hanks, Martin Short! HOW DID THIS HAPPEN??? I don’t understand how this greatness hasn’t been inducted into some kind of casting hall of fame.
The Plot: The satire of it all is wonderful. I’m sure this was intended to be a quick teen whatever flick, but it’s the little things that make it great. Be it the sexual innuendos, the horrific musical take on Shakespeare, or the baby faces of all the cast members, it’s just plain hilarious to watch. Berke (Foster) was dating Allison (irrelevant) and she broke up with him. She started dating Striker (West) and Berke is inconsolable and his friends (Hanks and Sisqo) are no help. Berke auditions for the school play to win back Allison but ends up getting close with Kelly (Dunst) who is his friend’s sister. It’s a love web thing but it’s a cute and slightly dirty high school take on it. Other appearances by: Zoe Saldana, Vitamin C, Carmen Electra, and Ed Begley Jr.
Overall: Just a great watch for fun. I watched this movie all the time when I was a tween and I still love it. It’s not the cleanest (rated PG13) but still one of my staples.
Scorsese: I am usually not a big Scorsese person. I think he makes great films but you definitely have to be in the mood for one of these.
The Scandal: I purposefully didn’t read anything about this movie before seeing it. I just saw previews and that’s it. I was totally shocked by what I saw. I couldn’t believe such horrible people existed. The drugs, the cons, the general crappiness of these people was astounding. And it’s REAL. I mean mostly real, but REAL. Apparently some of the nudity was toned down to avoid an NC-17 rating to which I say how? Also they said the f word more times than any other movie…again, how and also WHY? By the end, it really hammered home the idea that these people exist on a totally different level.
The Con: Jordan Belfort (DiCaprio) is a man trying to make his way up the ranks on Wall Street and after a big market crash, he strikes out on his own and the greed monster bites him big time. He goes through drugs like candy and he encourages deplorable moral practices as well as questionable financial choices. The best thing, it all catches up with him. The weird thing, you oddly want him to just quit while he’s ahead and go home happy. It’s frustrating to watch him dig deeper and deeper.
The Show: The performances in this were amazing. Margot Robbie was beautiful and strong and sexy. Jonah Hill was a blubbering idiot and I can’t for the life of me figure out how he can do a movie like this and then do something like “21 Jump Street”. It baffles me. The boy scout FBI agent (Chandler) is a minimal role but man do I love that man. The con is wonderful to watch come together and then watch crumble. It was just so amazing to see these characters push each other further and further for money. If I haven’t said it already, the performances were astounding but I wanted to punch Donnie (Hill) in the face.
Overall: Beautiful and vulgar. I thought the performances were great but frustrating because the people are terrible and annoying but the story is something that stuck with me even now days after I saw it. Bootiful! This goes without saying, but zero children should see this.