Dystopian Rules: I’m obsessed with these movies and I know the world is too or people wouldn’t keep making them!
Da Plot: Global warming has consumed the earth so we launch chemicals into the atmosphere to stop it but we end up freezing the earth. What’s left of humanity lives on board a train that runs around the world. Poor in the back, rich in the front. Curtis (Evans) leads those from the tail to the front in a revolt and it’s not everything he thought it would be. He fights alongside friend Edgar (Bell) with guidance from Gilliam (Hurt). His efforts are fought by Mason (Swinton) who works for Wilford (Harris). It’s a crazy sci-fi, futuristic, humanity questioning film and I LOVED it! One of my favorite ladies Octavia Spencer is in it too. Yes, there are loopholes, but it’s still a great movie.
The Quirks: This movie has it’s share of just weirdness. Director Bong Joon-Ho totally put his marks on this. There’s a weird drug people have, the train has funky cars they travel through, crazy locksmiths (Song), and just all kinds of what the what. I will admit, someone besides Bong should have done the screenplay because some parts were just odd and it could’ve been the deliveries but I had to giggle at parts of the dialogue.
Overall: It’s brilliant and makes me want to read the graphic novel it’s based on (Le Transperceneige). SO. COOL. Obviously adults only and it’s pretty sad but a revolution has its casualties. This is totally the dark horse of the summer movies.
Holy Matrix: The stunts in this movie were literally “The Matrix” just with Christian Bale and Taye Diggs.
The Plot: In the future, a serum is made that keeps people from feeling and the society in order. Run by Father (Pertwee) and his right hand man DuPont (MacFadyen), this society is kept in order by the clerics. The clerics rid the society of people who keep anything culturally relevant like art, music, anything like that. John Preston (Bale) is a cleric that eventually sympathizes with the resistance and revolution ensues. Shout out to Sean Bean and William Fichtner for their quick appearances.
The Idea: The idea behind this was really cool, but strangely reminiscent of “The Giver” I’ve found. The writing was okay, but there were so many loopholes! Like, there’s a scene where Taye Diggs, who plays a fellow cleric, gets angry…but aren’t you NOT supposed to feel?? He’s clearly feeling something there! I just felt like they had all these ideas for a cool society and it turned out to be weird. Also, they incinerate people who are arrested. You couldn’t find a cooler way to kill people in the future? Just suspend reality with the fighting. Like I said, Matrix.
Overall: The action is super cool and seeing my man Taye in something like this was great. Lots of blood and stuff obviously, so not for the kiddies. It’s on Netflix so you might as well, it’s entertaining!
The Neeson: Liam Neeson is 62. HOW IS HE STILL DOING THESE MOVIES??
The Plot: Bill Marks (Neeson) is a cop that became an air marshal after the death of his daughter and divorce. He boards a plane heading for London and starts receiving texts. The texts threaten to kill someone every 20 minutes until they get $150 million. You’ll never guess who it really is because it’s actually pretty lame.
The Drama: I’ve seen “Flight Plan” so I was ready for some serious drama. It was just so basic. The reasoning behind the hijacking was weird and stretched a little thin and the movie is just kind of superficial.
The Action: Well, there’s plenty of this. Or as much as there can be on a plane. It’s mostly just tense moments, not so much boom crash bam! I thought Marks as a character was bland (as was everyone else) but the lead should at least be engaging. I was not impressed.
Overall: A decent effort, but not necessary to see.
My Cat: Toothless looks and acts exactly like my cat and I will not apologize for imagining my cat with wings flying through the air.
The Legend: 5 years have passed and vikings and dragons now live in harmony in Berk. Hiccup (Baruchel) has begun exploring new lands with Toothless when he happens upon dragon trappers led by Eret (Harington). As Astrid (Ferrera) and the rest of the group (Hill, Wiig, Ferguson, Butler) are brought into the fold, a wild colony of dragons is discovered. All of these dragons are in danger of being captured and soon Berk becomes a target as well.
Such Drama: There are an interesting number of small but great subplots throughout the film. A great foundation was set in the first movie and allowed for this one to delve into more complex themes and storytelling. I loved every moment of this movie and thought that even though some parts were dark and serious, there wasn’t a single moment that wasn’t telling a good story.
The Visuals: Man did Dreamworks step up their game. I mean the littlest things are so beautiful and it’s just amazing what can be done with computers. They were able to explore so much more and it’s so cool to compare the first and second movies and see how far they’ve come.
Overall: Watch the first one, and then go see the second one NOW. Even if you’ve seen the first in the last year or two, you can totally get the story and it’s perfect for almost anyone!
Disaster Strikes: Yes, I’ve been watching a lot of depressing movies lately but whatever, they’ve all been great and this one was no exception.
The Plot: This follows the true story of a family who vacationed in Thailand when the tsunami hit in 2004. They were torn apart and had to find each other again in the wake of the devastation that affected so many lives around the world. The Bennett family is real and their struggle was also very real.
The Search: All you want is for this family to be together and find each other. I will admit the last part of the search was a bit dramatized but it’s heartbreaking to watch this family try to put itself back together. LITERALLY. It takes a lot to try and find your family and even more to hold onto that hope that they survived. It’s unimaginable to me.
The Courage: Lucas (Holland) totally stole the show for me. He took care of his mom and helped others reunite and just kicked some serious butt and Holland himself was awesome to watch. The dad (McGregor) made some mistakes and lost his kids and the mom (Watts) was injured most of the time but they were such a believable family and I was hooked.
Overall: This needs to be watched. It’s tough but it’s necessary to understand the magnitude of the devastation and it serves as a way to remember that the earth is capable of terrifying things.
…okay?: I read this book in like two days and I never want to read it again. That’s how sad this was and that’s what I expected from the movie.
The Tears: Hazel (Woodley) has cancer that’s “under control” but is still terminal. She attends group therapy and meets Isaac (Wolff) who is awaiting surgery on his remaining eye and Augustus Waters (Elgort) who is a survivor. Gus and Hazel become inseparable and travel to Amsterdam to meet the author of a book they both love and his name is Peter Van Houten (Defoe). They leave Amsterdam with no answers to what they were searching for. Once home, they must deal with the crappy cards life dealt them. I won’t post spoilers but trust me YOU WILL CRY. I don’t think everyone will weep, but you’ll at least have some welling-up or you’re heartless!
The Book: John Green is a genius. He wrote Hazel so brilliantly and it translated so well to the screen. I will say after reading the book and seeing the movie that there is no such thing as a teenage boy like Augustus Waters. No guy says or does the things he does and that’s the only complaint I have. Everything else is magic.
The Cancer: It is a disease that has affected everyone in some way. It breaks families and causes irreparable damage. Every person’s encounter with cancer is different, but I really appreciated the way Green told Hazel’s story.
Overall: See it. Just get some tissues and deal with the fact that you will cry and you will love it later. I will say, reading the book first made me appreciate the movie even more so…do that too.
Ms. Banks: This woman knows how to get to my funny bone. I heard nothing about this movie but went for it at Redbox.
The Plot: Meghan is interviewing for a new anchor gig and finds she didn’t get the job. Her fiance then leaves her. Her friends take her out for the night and she ends up with Gordon (Marsden). She gets a call the next morning that she got a second shot at the job and has to get across town to make the interview. Her car got towed but that was just the beginning. This was like “The Hangover” for girls and without as many penis jokes. You just couldn’t help but feel bad for (and laugh) at the woman in the yellow dress.
The Comedy: Meghan’s friends are the usual roles of the dumb one (Wright) and the logical one (Jacobs). But they still played relatively useful roles. I will say the dumb one is annoying but if you look past that, the whole series of events is just hilariously painful. It’s not comedic gold, but Banks definitely holds her own as a funny leading lady. The cops (Suplee and Burr) also add some comedy of their own.
Overall: Fun for a chick-flick kind of night without the sappy romantic crap. Like I said, it’s not AH-MAZAING but it’s sure to give a giggle.
The Zoo: This is cool because it’s based on a real place. I didn’t really have this on a must see list but it was playing on my plane so I was a captive audience for this one.
The Plot: Ben (Damon) is left a widow with his two kids Dylan (Ford) and Rosie (Jones). They are looking for a fresh start and decide to buy this house that also happens to have a zoo on property. The zoo is run by Kelly (Johansson) and their band of misfits. The goal is to get the zoo up and running in time for summer. An overall cute story with a balanced mix of sadness/devastation and fun animals. I was pretty entertained and kind of forgot I was trapped on a plane for a bit.
The Relationships: Elle Fanning was so annoying as the giggly mess of a girl trying to get the attention of Dylan. A plot line wasted. Kelly and Ben? CLICHE. The only relationship I enjoyed watching was between Ben and his kids coping with loss. The rest is kind of irrelevant. The characters (besides the dad, kids, and Kelly) are lamely developed. The relationships with the animals, however, are priceless to see.
A Purpose: This movie was actually pretty uplifting in the end. It really served its purpose and came to a happy close at the end. There’s a lot of sugar coating, but for this movie I thought it was perfect. I also really wanted to go to a zoo after watching to mission accomplished!
Overall: I wouldn’t go out of your way to see it, but if someone suggests it don’t immediately dismiss it.